ANGER
MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES
Learning to
control anger is always a challenge for every one. Most of my friends and
students ask me how to control anger. This is the answer for their questions. Does
your Blood pressure mount high when your subordinates reject and repudiate to
cooperate? Wild and unrestrained anger
is always deadly and harms ones health, wealth and relationships.
·
There are two types
of angers. They are Passive anger and aggressive anger.
Either aggressive anger or passive anger may be learned in childhood supported
by permissiveness or the lack of emotional boundaries or parental discipline or
modeled after aggressive or passive parental behavior. It may be result of
childhood verbal or physical abuse also.
·
Aggressive anger can be expressed as Bullying, Destructiveness,
Grandiosity, Hurtfulness, Manic Behavior, Selfishness, Threats, Unjust Blaming,
and Vengeance etc. Passive anger can be expressed in the following ways. They are
Self-blame, Secretive behavior, Obsessive behavior, Defeatism, Evasiveness,
dispassion and Psychological manipulation.
·
.Learn
what triggers your anger. Identify the signs that you are becoming angry. The
signs of anger are as follows. The
facial and skeletal musculature is affected by anger. The face becomes red and the brow muscles
move inward or downward, the nostrils flare, the jaw tends towards clenching,
raising of the arms for preparing for attack or for defense. The muscle tension
provides strength. The heart rate, blood pressure, perspiration etc are
increases. The autonomous activity works through adrenomedullary and
adrenocortical hormonal activity. The
secretion of adrenal medulla of the catecholamine’s, epinephrine, and nor
epinephrine, and by the adrenal cortex of glucocoticoids provides a sympathetic
system effect that mobilizes the body for immediate action (e.g. the release of
glucose, stored in the liver and muscles as glycogen). In anger, the
catecholamine activation is more strongly nor epinephrine than epinephrine (the
reverse being the cause for fear). The pituitary gland also influences the
anger levels.
·
Take
accountability, liability, power and understand that anger is a choice of when,
how to express it.
·
Make
a commitment to avoid using filthy and abusive language.
·
Make
a strong oath not to indulge criminal activities or violent activities.
·
Some
times unresolved anger from the precedent past is the main reason. It should be
resolved amicably with the support of different approaches.
·
Don’t
voice the word “YOU “word or Phrase in expressing anger i.e. “You always or You
never follow or You aren’t loyal etc, Try to avoid
blaming others harshly.. Be courteous and humble in dealing with others even in
anger also.
·
Anger
person has to understand there may be a reasonable cause for others for to say.
So be open and empathetic on others.
·
Always avoid Physical violence. Yelling, raving, striking,
shoving or plotting revenge is some of the examples.
·
Try
to ask permission from others in abusing others.
·
Try
to focus on present issues and don’t search for the past causes to blame.
·
If
you find any reasons to blame others, try to put them in words and give them as
suggestion. Make them to realize their mistakes. Generally coaches in the games
do this. They note down the mistakes of the each player. They hand over the
mistakes paper to the player to modify his mistakes.
·
In
receiving anger don’t retaliate with anger. Use soft voice and respond honestly
with him. He will understand the intensity of anger. Don’t hit back anger with
anger. It is no use. You can’t win any thing but loose more. Anger doesn’t win
battles. If it wins it is temporary only. The real win lies in Peace.
·
The
person who in angry with you is always confronting with himself and with
others. You understand that angry person is always hurt, skeptic, pessimist,
and cynic and wounded. As he is unable to communicate with other ways so he is
retaliating with anger. Be sympathetic him. Send him “Get Well Soon Greetings
“in dreams.
·
Develop
inner strength to face criticism. Be composed, calm, cool, stable and patient
in facing criticism and anger. Don’t loose your temper at any time.
·
Anger
persons need Counseling for their anxiety and Depression.
·
Anger
is a habitual reaction of angry person. Angry person always forget the other
alternatives. He has to change this attitude for his benefit and well being
other wise he may be at loosing end in major human relations area.
·
If
you are at receiving end of the anger, quickly understand the anger persons
view point and use reflexive statement and sincere apology to him.
·
Hitting, abusing, damaging others property
are not the acceptable ways of expressing anger.
·
A teenager may get angry because of hormonal
problems. Women may get anger frequently because of Monopaz. We have to
understand them. We have to give them ample support in this period.
·
Try
to avoid conflicting situations as often possible.
·
Try
to avoid conflicting situations in the presence of family members and close
relatives.
·
Try
to avoid conflicting situations before driving, bed time, walking up time,
during the time of taking crucial decisions, in public places etc.
·
Try
to avoid the conflicting situation. Leave the area or person whom you want to
show anger. It is very hard to practice.
But put into practice and follow it. Talk a walk or Do breathing exercises or
Count the numbers or follow any other technique which you know.
·
Avoid
showing anger on Police Persons or Anti Social personality Disorder people or
on your Employer or Boss or your Department Officer.
·
Before reacting to a tense situation, take deep breath with left
nose and release slowly with right nose. Do it for 20 times. Your emotion level
will be calm down.
·
With out hurting others you try to state your needs and
expectations in an assertive way in a calm state.
·
Physical activity of playing games provides an outlet for any
body’s emotions. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals. That
makes you happier and pleasant.
·
One of the triggers for anger is Poor Time management.
·
One of the triggers for anger is Multi tasking. Often it keeps
you in Bay.
·
Think before saying is an exemplary quote. It is apt also. It is
easy to say some thing at the heating moment but we often regret after. So take
few moments to gather your ideas and thoughts and present it wisely.
·
Remember anger don’t resolve issues, it complicates the
situation further and make it worse
·
Identify alternative solutions for repeating problems in the
house which making you anger. Try to understand that you can’t change people.
Let them live like that. You select the right kind of people only.
·
Forgive
others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve PEACE.
·
Remember
forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We have to do it for
ourselves to get well and live happily.
·
Use humor in the place of sarcasm. Sarcasm hurt feelings of
others and makes enemies for life time. Tension disappears in the presence of
Humor.
·
When anger erupts like Volcano, practice anti anger techniques.
Practice calming words “Take it easy”“or
chant Divine name many a times or
practice laughing therapy or Practice positive wave meditation technique or Listen
Good music or practice Yoga poses etc.
Frankly speaking anger can’t be
managed easily. Why people are getting angry because they are hurt, painful,
loss, deceived etc. They get angry because they care and love. If they don’t
get angry it is a problem and disorder. Mahatma Gandhi got angry on a number of
occasions. Jesus Christ got angry. Lord Krishna and Lord Rama got angry. We are
just human beings. Anger is part of the life. It is a normal human emotion. It
is a way that your brain releases mental and emotional pressure. Live with anger management is a better idea.
Dr.Kesiraju
Ramprasad
EDUCATIONAL
PSYCHOLOGIST
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