ANGER MANAGEMENMT TECHNIQUES

ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

Learning to control anger is always a challenge for every one. Most of my friends and students ask me how to control anger. This is the answer for their questions. Does your Blood pressure mount high when your subordinates reject and repudiate to cooperate?  Wild and unrestrained anger is always deadly and harms ones health, wealth and relationships.

·        There are two types of angers. They are Passive anger and aggressive anger. Either aggressive anger or passive anger may be learned in childhood supported by permissiveness or the lack of emotional boundaries or parental discipline or modeled after aggressive or passive parental behavior. It may be result of childhood verbal or physical abuse also.

·         Aggressive anger can be expressed as Bullying, Destructiveness, Grandiosity, Hurtfulness, Manic Behavior, Selfishness, Threats, Unjust Blaming, and Vengeance etc.  Passive anger can be expressed in the following ways. They are Self-blame, Secretive behavior, Obsessive behavior, Defeatism, Evasiveness, dispassion and Psychological manipulation.

·        .Learn what triggers your anger. Identify the signs that you are becoming angry. The signs of anger are as follows. The facial and skeletal musculature is affected by anger.  The face becomes red and the brow muscles move inward or downward, the nostrils flare, the jaw tends towards clenching, raising of the arms for preparing for attack or for defense. The muscle tension provides strength. The heart rate, blood pressure, perspiration etc are increases. The autonomous activity works through adrenomedullary and adrenocortical hormonal activity.  The secretion of adrenal medulla of the catecholamine’s, epinephrine, and nor epinephrine, and by the adrenal cortex of glucocoticoids provides a sympathetic system effect that mobilizes the body for immediate action (e.g. the release of glucose, stored in the liver and muscles as glycogen). In anger, the catecholamine activation is more strongly nor epinephrine than epinephrine (the reverse being the cause for fear). The pituitary gland also influences the anger levels.

·        Take accountability, liability, power and understand that anger is a choice of when, how to express it.

·        Make a commitment to avoid using filthy and abusive language.

·        Make a strong oath not to indulge criminal activities or violent activities.

·        Some times unresolved anger from the precedent past is the main reason. It should be resolved amicably with the support of different approaches.

·        Don’t voice the word “YOU “word or Phrase in expressing anger i.e. “You always or You never follow or You aren’t loyal etc, Try to avoid blaming others harshly.. Be courteous and humble in dealing with others even in anger also.

·        Anger person has to understand there may be a reasonable cause for others for to say. So be open and empathetic on others.

·        Always avoid Physical violence.  Yelling, raving, striking, shoving or plotting revenge is some of the examples.

·        Try to ask permission from others in abusing others.

·        Try to focus on present issues and don’t search for the past causes to blame.

·        If you find any reasons to blame others, try to put them in words and give them as suggestion. Make them to realize their mistakes. Generally coaches in the games do this. They note down the mistakes of the each player. They hand over the mistakes paper to the player to modify his mistakes.

·        In receiving anger don’t retaliate with anger. Use soft voice and respond honestly with him. He will understand the intensity of anger. Don’t hit back anger with anger. It is no use. You can’t win any thing but loose more. Anger doesn’t win battles. If it wins it is temporary only. The real win lies in Peace.

·        The person who in angry with you is always confronting with himself and with others. You understand that angry person is always hurt, skeptic, pessimist, and cynic and wounded. As he is unable to communicate with other ways so he is retaliating with anger. Be sympathetic him. Send him “Get Well Soon Greetings “in dreams.

·        Develop inner strength to face criticism. Be composed, calm, cool, stable and patient in facing criticism and anger. Don’t loose your temper at any time.

·        Anger persons need Counseling for their anxiety and Depression.

·        Anger is a habitual reaction of angry person. Angry person always forget the other alternatives. He has to change this attitude for his benefit and well being other wise he may be at loosing end in major human relations area.

·        If you are at receiving end of the anger, quickly understand the anger persons view point and use reflexive statement and sincere apology to him.

·        Hitting, abusing, damaging others property are not the acceptable ways of expressing anger.

·        A teenager may get angry because of hormonal problems. Women may get anger frequently because of Monopaz. We have to understand them. We have to give them ample support in this period.

·        Try to avoid conflicting situations as often possible.

·        Try to avoid conflicting situations in the presence of family members and close relatives.

·        Try to avoid conflicting situations before driving, bed time, walking up time, during the time of taking crucial decisions, in public places etc.

·        Try to avoid the conflicting situation. Leave the area or person whom you want to show anger. It is very hard to practice. But put into practice and follow it. Talk a walk or Do breathing exercises or Count the numbers or follow any other technique which you know.

·        Avoid showing anger on Police Persons or Anti Social personality Disorder people or on your Employer or Boss or your Department Officer.

·        Before reacting to a tense situation, take deep breath with left nose and release slowly with right nose. Do it for 20 times. Your emotion level will be calm down.

·        With out hurting others you try to state your needs and expectations in an assertive way in a calm state.

·        Physical activity of playing games provides an outlet for any body’s emotions. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals. That makes you happier and pleasant.

·        One of the triggers for anger is Poor Time management.

·        One of the triggers for anger is Multi tasking. Often it keeps you in Bay.

·        Think before saying is an exemplary quote. It is apt also. It is easy to say some thing at the heating moment but we often regret after. So take few moments to gather your ideas and thoughts and present it wisely.

·        Remember anger don’t resolve issues, it complicates the situation further and make it worse

·        Identify alternative solutions for repeating problems in the house which making you anger. Try to understand that you can’t change people. Let them live like that. You select the right kind of people only.

·        Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve PEACE.

·        Remember forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We have to do it for ourselves to get well and live happily.

·        Use humor in the place of sarcasm. Sarcasm hurt feelings of others and makes enemies for life time. Tension disappears in the presence of Humor.

·        When anger erupts like Volcano, practice anti anger techniques. Practice calming words “Take it easy”“or chant Divine name many a times or practice laughing therapy or Practice  positive wave meditation technique or Listen Good music or practice Yoga poses etc.

             Frankly speaking anger can’t be managed easily. Why people are getting angry because they are hurt, painful, loss, deceived etc. They get angry because they care and love. If they don’t get angry it is a problem and disorder. Mahatma Gandhi got angry on a number of occasions. Jesus Christ got angry. Lord Krishna and Lord Rama got angry. We are just human beings. Anger is part of the life. It is a normal human emotion. It is a way that your brain releases mental and emotional pressure.  Live with anger management is a better idea.

Dr.Kesiraju Ramprasad

EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST